Today I had a trip to the Victoria Unit at Oldham Royal. Not visiting a patient but getting my third nipple check.
You see it had grown itself a buddy and it was going to get checked out. The Victoria Unit is what I shall refer to as a one stop cancer shop. You find out same day no messing around and they like pink.
The husband joined me for this trip. He had to. He owned the third nipple in question.
At the ripe age of 28 and 31(& 3/4) we were among the youngest there and also most chirpy. The patients (all women) did that look of "aw. So young", it changed to "what the heck!" when hubby got called in. We felt a bit silly and where quickly ushered into a clinic room. Whilst there he found be boobs to look at and we admired the pink gowns on offer.
The consultation was quick. Chirpy consultant asked all the questions expected (drink/smoke/family history) some we didn't (does it ooze/you taken steroids/smoked pot). It was after this she took a look at my third nipple and said, "that's different" had a feel at my moobs and then told hubby to put his top on.
"well it doesn't look like cancer but let scan it to make sure." she was rather chirpy about all this and showed us to the waiting room.
It was ten minutes till we ended up in the ultra sound room. It was cold and they asked hubby to take his top off and provided him some dignity with a price of blue roll. The nurse was fun as we started laughing as she did it. But she explained it was auto pilot and complimented him on the moobs.
The radiographer was less smiley but very thorough. The nipple looked all cells and different to the other but no evil White. I was happy. After a good rub of the nipple she stopped said, "I'll write the report now. You have no cancer."
Happy Days!
All chirpy we went back to see the consultant. She said she want to take pictures of my third nipple to assist others and would like a biopsy to see why it had grown we said sure.
As we walked to the medical illustration unit the hubby asked what a local aesthetic was and what was meant by biopsy. I was going to enjoy this.
The hubby was two minute having my nipple photographed. He asked if it was normal to have to take your pants off for a photo of your chest. I laughed he laughed a little too.
On our return to the booby shop we had a bit of a longer wait. We got to listen to patients moan about waiting 30minutes and how you shouldn't be told an appointment time if you would have to wait so long. Then I was asked how long I had been waiting. I said "about twenty minutes now, he just needs a biopsy". After five minutes hubby was called and I got to do a snug smile of "yeah men can get this cancer too."
In the room Mrs Chirpy and bubbly nurse said they would be using a tiny tiny needle and a tiny tine scalpel to take a small sample. I nodded and hubby went White. They started looking through the cart for slightly bigger tools and needles. Hubby chipped in with, "don't you think a smaller one would be better?" he was still White.
Chirpy started to inject the nipple and the hid the slicing from me. I was a little sad as it was my nipple she was hacking at. I tried not to look concerned as she dug in a granny tool and sliced off the lump. It looked different. My third nipple had lost it's friend and I was sad. Chirpy did some amazing needle point and mad it look all tidy. Hubby and I chatted about the time they toon out the pin and agree she was a much better doctor. Chipry liked this and said she was looking forward to seeing us in two weeks with good news.
I'm glad my third nipples not got cancer. I'm sorry it's lost it's friend, but I'm also glad my hubby was brave and asked his doctor if it was normal. I'm also glad that the NHS has the one stop booby shops and really didn't mind the waiting around as we knew in a day, that it's not cancer.
I also got to spend the afternoon int the sunshine as hubby was all sore from the biopsy.
TOTAL WIN!
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