This week I learnt my husband didn't really know the stories of the brothers Grimm. "Snow White has dwarves in it yeah?" I was shocked. He claimed it was because fairy stories are for girls.
"Cinderella?" I asked, "she had big feet and stole a shoe so the prince tried to track her down to give her the other one"
"Elves and the shoemaker?"
"Made the shoes Cinderella nicked."
"Ok. Hansel and Gretel?"
"Ate a house killed a witch."
"Rumplestilzskin?"
"Dunno that one. Stupid name though"
"Jack and the Bean Stalk?!"
"Bought some beans. One grew massive, ruined the garden."
I worry what will happen to our children.
Tuesday, 12 March 2013
Sunday, 29 April 2012
Zathura
When I worked at a cinema Zathura was one of the many films shown. It was billed as a space Jumanji. This film brings back bad memories. I worked a weekend which also happened to be the height of a vomiting bug going round the schools. I had to clean up a lot of sick in the screens showing that film. One child projectile vomited on the escalator it was rancid.
It's also the first movie I saw with Kirsten Stewart in. Reason two for my hate. Now I have the third. The annoying older brother is PEETA MELARK. I hated the boy when he was in the vomit Zathura (I even found him annoying in Bridge to Terabithia) but now he portrays my most hated fictional character.
Zathura I hate you.
It's also the first movie I saw with Kirsten Stewart in. Reason two for my hate. Now I have the third. The annoying older brother is PEETA MELARK. I hated the boy when he was in the vomit Zathura (I even found him annoying in Bridge to Terabithia) but now he portrays my most hated fictional character.
Zathura I hate you.
Thursday, 12 April 2012
Mark Owen would have a way better Garden Party
So M&S, not content with only coating half (HALF) Percy Pigs pants in hundreds and thousands and charging £6 for the pleasure they are now telling us the here comes the sun.
That's right the same week middle earth gets a ban on hose pipes and the rain comes down and the floods rise up in the North Gary Barlows having a garden party at his middle earth mansion. His mates Myeline Class and Dannie Minogue are having a egg and spoon race and grandad got out the old tv to watch the olympics. Shame that it won't work as its analogue but hey we can have a sing song round a campfire but Marks not coming. He's got the chiminea on and him and Kylie are watching the olympics on the out door projector.
That's right the same week middle earth gets a ban on hose pipes and the rain comes down and the floods rise up in the North Gary Barlows having a garden party at his middle earth mansion. His mates Myeline Class and Dannie Minogue are having a egg and spoon race and grandad got out the old tv to watch the olympics. Shame that it won't work as its analogue but hey we can have a sing song round a campfire but Marks not coming. He's got the chiminea on and him and Kylie are watching the olympics on the out door projector.
Friday, 13 January 2012
You on a really good day
Not one for New Years Resolutions that actually change your life I did on my first day back to work start having a Berocca tablet. Berocca claims to be "you on a really good day". Its basically a crap load of vitamin C and those pesky B vitamins (http://www.berocca.co.uk/ has all the sales gumpf).
Does it work?
After two weeks I'm going to say yes. I feel more alert, the mid day dip in energy has gone. On the days I forget to have one it's not a good day.
Does it taste nice?
Not really. It tastes like cheap orange squash but the fizz makes an improvement to the taste and don't smell it because it's not a good smell.
What happens to the unneeded vitamins?
At some point in the day if you have a good level of the vitamins then you will have a pee that's a really bright yellow. It's as unsettling as when you eat beetroot.
It wasn't a resolution but overdosing on vitamins B and C is currently working for me more than caffine.
Does it work?
After two weeks I'm going to say yes. I feel more alert, the mid day dip in energy has gone. On the days I forget to have one it's not a good day.
Does it taste nice?
Not really. It tastes like cheap orange squash but the fizz makes an improvement to the taste and don't smell it because it's not a good smell.
What happens to the unneeded vitamins?
At some point in the day if you have a good level of the vitamins then you will have a pee that's a really bright yellow. It's as unsettling as when you eat beetroot.
It wasn't a resolution but overdosing on vitamins B and C is currently working for me more than caffine.
Monday, 7 November 2011
Hey fatty bum bum
"OMG!! Dawn French has lost weight!" Well that's what they could of said on Daybreak this morning. It's true the nations loveable "self proclaimed" fatty has shed some pounds. Not out of vanity, but for her health.
This annoyed me. Why is Dawn not allowed to say, "well I looked in the mirror and thought, man I've got too fat". Because, as a fatty I can say it's ok to think that. To think I don't mind being fat but this is too fat for me, is not letting the awful media win. Why is Dawn not allowed to be like the rest of us and long for the younger, thinner days? I'll tell you why. Because she's a "self proclaimed" fatty.
Then I read this http://t.co/y2gw8jLz Not that it's a terrible article in Mail terms, the comments are however vile and some should be ashamed.
Comments fall into three groups, "she's still too fat", "She'd still be married if she lost the weight sooner" and my favourite "she's a bad role model for women being that fat." Even the positive ones are bordering on the abusive.
She'd still be married if she lost the weight sooner
Bloody hell! Lets clear this up from the start. If your husband/girlfriend/partner/family/friend will only love you if you're ten pounds lighter you need to tell them to fuck off. That negativity is what is ruining you and making you miserable, not the fat. Your weight does not make you the awesome person you are, you do. If Lenny Henry and Dawn French did split because she got too fat, he needs to look in the mirror at his middle aged spread.
She's a bad role model for women being that fat
Dawns fat. She always has been (and to her credit never denied it), but I don't think that's a bad thing. I grew up with French and Saunders, and the Vicar of Dibley, you know what? It was good to see a fatty doing well on TV and not be cast as a perpetual dieter or the fat friend. In Dibley she had men falling from the Heavens and they were what my scouse friend would term hotties. It's one of the reasons I love her she made sure that her weight was never used as a negative point, if it was ever used it was for comedy and even then it had a sense of irony. Because of this, in my eyes she's an amazing role model for women.
She's still too fat
Let's talk fatties. Most talked about at the moment is Claire from Steps. She made her come back as the thinny turned fatty turned thinny and bounced about this way on any TV camera and magazine interview that cared to mention her. Are we shocked and saddened by this public display of yo-yo diets? No.
This annoyed me. Why is Dawn not allowed to say, "well I looked in the mirror and thought, man I've got too fat". Because, as a fatty I can say it's ok to think that. To think I don't mind being fat but this is too fat for me, is not letting the awful media win. Why is Dawn not allowed to be like the rest of us and long for the younger, thinner days? I'll tell you why. Because she's a "self proclaimed" fatty.
Then I read this http://t.co/y2gw8jLz Not that it's a terrible article in Mail terms, the comments are however vile and some should be ashamed.
Comments fall into three groups, "she's still too fat", "She'd still be married if she lost the weight sooner" and my favourite "she's a bad role model for women being that fat." Even the positive ones are bordering on the abusive.
She'd still be married if she lost the weight sooner
Bloody hell! Lets clear this up from the start. If your husband/girlfriend/partner/family/friend will only love you if you're ten pounds lighter you need to tell them to fuck off. That negativity is what is ruining you and making you miserable, not the fat. Your weight does not make you the awesome person you are, you do. If Lenny Henry and Dawn French did split because she got too fat, he needs to look in the mirror at his middle aged spread.
She's a bad role model for women being that fat
Dawns fat. She always has been (and to her credit never denied it), but I don't think that's a bad thing. I grew up with French and Saunders, and the Vicar of Dibley, you know what? It was good to see a fatty doing well on TV and not be cast as a perpetual dieter or the fat friend. In Dibley she had men falling from the Heavens and they were what my scouse friend would term hotties. It's one of the reasons I love her she made sure that her weight was never used as a negative point, if it was ever used it was for comedy and even then it had a sense of irony. Because of this, in my eyes she's an amazing role model for women.
She's still too fat
Let's talk fatties. Most talked about at the moment is Claire from Steps. She made her come back as the thinny turned fatty turned thinny and bounced about this way on any TV camera and magazine interview that cared to mention her. Are we shocked and saddened by this public display of yo-yo diets? No.
I gasped when I saw her DVD "Fat Attack" photos and was saddened to see on BBCTHREE a woman so miserable that shes decided her misery is because she's fat and not because of something deeper. She glazed over her struggles with eating disorders in STEPS in such a way it's obvious she has never killed those daemons. We probably all watched the STEPS documentary for the same reason. To see her expand and contract like a balloon. This isn't a positive role model for women. She claims to be with her "weight struggle" but isn't she just another advert that fatties don't succeed and happiness is a size 12?
Jessica Simpson has also bounced around but she's never made an issue of it. The press however has made out that she shockingly ballooned and her weight was spiralling. I don't think Jessica ever got fat, just stopped being stick thin.
Yes, fat can be unhealthy and make you sweat more and cause you to have loads of health problems, but so can being too slim and not eating the right foods. You can be fat and eat the right foods. You just eat too much of them and sit around on your arse.
Dawn FRench never made an issue of her size she used it for comedy but I never thought of her as fat. She was large. Large in size, in personality, love and presence. That's why I can say I am a fatty bum bum that wants to shed a few pounds. Not to be thin but more firmer with a layer of fat to keep me and the hubby warm in through the cold winter nights.
Thanks Dawn for being a perfect role model.
Jessica Simpson has also bounced around but she's never made an issue of it. The press however has made out that she shockingly ballooned and her weight was spiralling. I don't think Jessica ever got fat, just stopped being stick thin.
Yes, fat can be unhealthy and make you sweat more and cause you to have loads of health problems, but so can being too slim and not eating the right foods. You can be fat and eat the right foods. You just eat too much of them and sit around on your arse.
Dawn FRench never made an issue of her size she used it for comedy but I never thought of her as fat. She was large. Large in size, in personality, love and presence. That's why I can say I am a fatty bum bum that wants to shed a few pounds. Not to be thin but more firmer with a layer of fat to keep me and the hubby warm in through the cold winter nights.
Thanks Dawn for being a perfect role model.
Thursday, 29 September 2011
My third nipple
Today I had a trip to the Victoria Unit at Oldham Royal. Not visiting a patient but getting my third nipple check.
You see it had grown itself a buddy and it was going to get checked out. The Victoria Unit is what I shall refer to as a one stop cancer shop. You find out same day no messing around and they like pink.
The husband joined me for this trip. He had to. He owned the third nipple in question.
At the ripe age of 28 and 31(& 3/4) we were among the youngest there and also most chirpy. The patients (all women) did that look of "aw. So young", it changed to "what the heck!" when hubby got called in. We felt a bit silly and where quickly ushered into a clinic room. Whilst there he found be boobs to look at and we admired the pink gowns on offer.
The consultation was quick. Chirpy consultant asked all the questions expected (drink/smoke/family history) some we didn't (does it ooze/you taken steroids/smoked pot). It was after this she took a look at my third nipple and said, "that's different" had a feel at my moobs and then told hubby to put his top on.
"well it doesn't look like cancer but let scan it to make sure." she was rather chirpy about all this and showed us to the waiting room.
It was ten minutes till we ended up in the ultra sound room. It was cold and they asked hubby to take his top off and provided him some dignity with a price of blue roll. The nurse was fun as we started laughing as she did it. But she explained it was auto pilot and complimented him on the moobs.
The radiographer was less smiley but very thorough. The nipple looked all cells and different to the other but no evil White. I was happy. After a good rub of the nipple she stopped said, "I'll write the report now. You have no cancer."
Happy Days!
All chirpy we went back to see the consultant. She said she want to take pictures of my third nipple to assist others and would like a biopsy to see why it had grown we said sure.
As we walked to the medical illustration unit the hubby asked what a local aesthetic was and what was meant by biopsy. I was going to enjoy this.
The hubby was two minute having my nipple photographed. He asked if it was normal to have to take your pants off for a photo of your chest. I laughed he laughed a little too.
On our return to the booby shop we had a bit of a longer wait. We got to listen to patients moan about waiting 30minutes and how you shouldn't be told an appointment time if you would have to wait so long. Then I was asked how long I had been waiting. I said "about twenty minutes now, he just needs a biopsy". After five minutes hubby was called and I got to do a snug smile of "yeah men can get this cancer too."
In the room Mrs Chirpy and bubbly nurse said they would be using a tiny tiny needle and a tiny tine scalpel to take a small sample. I nodded and hubby went White. They started looking through the cart for slightly bigger tools and needles. Hubby chipped in with, "don't you think a smaller one would be better?" he was still White.
Chirpy started to inject the nipple and the hid the slicing from me. I was a little sad as it was my nipple she was hacking at. I tried not to look concerned as she dug in a granny tool and sliced off the lump. It looked different. My third nipple had lost it's friend and I was sad. Chirpy did some amazing needle point and mad it look all tidy. Hubby and I chatted about the time they toon out the pin and agree she was a much better doctor. Chipry liked this and said she was looking forward to seeing us in two weeks with good news.
I'm glad my third nipples not got cancer. I'm sorry it's lost it's friend, but I'm also glad my hubby was brave and asked his doctor if it was normal. I'm also glad that the NHS has the one stop booby shops and really didn't mind the waiting around as we knew in a day, that it's not cancer.
I also got to spend the afternoon int the sunshine as hubby was all sore from the biopsy.
TOTAL WIN!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
You see it had grown itself a buddy and it was going to get checked out. The Victoria Unit is what I shall refer to as a one stop cancer shop. You find out same day no messing around and they like pink.
The husband joined me for this trip. He had to. He owned the third nipple in question.
At the ripe age of 28 and 31(& 3/4) we were among the youngest there and also most chirpy. The patients (all women) did that look of "aw. So young", it changed to "what the heck!" when hubby got called in. We felt a bit silly and where quickly ushered into a clinic room. Whilst there he found be boobs to look at and we admired the pink gowns on offer.
The consultation was quick. Chirpy consultant asked all the questions expected (drink/smoke/family history) some we didn't (does it ooze/you taken steroids/smoked pot). It was after this she took a look at my third nipple and said, "that's different" had a feel at my moobs and then told hubby to put his top on.
"well it doesn't look like cancer but let scan it to make sure." she was rather chirpy about all this and showed us to the waiting room.
It was ten minutes till we ended up in the ultra sound room. It was cold and they asked hubby to take his top off and provided him some dignity with a price of blue roll. The nurse was fun as we started laughing as she did it. But she explained it was auto pilot and complimented him on the moobs.
The radiographer was less smiley but very thorough. The nipple looked all cells and different to the other but no evil White. I was happy. After a good rub of the nipple she stopped said, "I'll write the report now. You have no cancer."
Happy Days!
All chirpy we went back to see the consultant. She said she want to take pictures of my third nipple to assist others and would like a biopsy to see why it had grown we said sure.
As we walked to the medical illustration unit the hubby asked what a local aesthetic was and what was meant by biopsy. I was going to enjoy this.
The hubby was two minute having my nipple photographed. He asked if it was normal to have to take your pants off for a photo of your chest. I laughed he laughed a little too.
On our return to the booby shop we had a bit of a longer wait. We got to listen to patients moan about waiting 30minutes and how you shouldn't be told an appointment time if you would have to wait so long. Then I was asked how long I had been waiting. I said "about twenty minutes now, he just needs a biopsy". After five minutes hubby was called and I got to do a snug smile of "yeah men can get this cancer too."
In the room Mrs Chirpy and bubbly nurse said they would be using a tiny tiny needle and a tiny tine scalpel to take a small sample. I nodded and hubby went White. They started looking through the cart for slightly bigger tools and needles. Hubby chipped in with, "don't you think a smaller one would be better?" he was still White.
Chirpy started to inject the nipple and the hid the slicing from me. I was a little sad as it was my nipple she was hacking at. I tried not to look concerned as she dug in a granny tool and sliced off the lump. It looked different. My third nipple had lost it's friend and I was sad. Chirpy did some amazing needle point and mad it look all tidy. Hubby and I chatted about the time they toon out the pin and agree she was a much better doctor. Chipry liked this and said she was looking forward to seeing us in two weeks with good news.
I'm glad my third nipples not got cancer. I'm sorry it's lost it's friend, but I'm also glad my hubby was brave and asked his doctor if it was normal. I'm also glad that the NHS has the one stop booby shops and really didn't mind the waiting around as we knew in a day, that it's not cancer.
I also got to spend the afternoon int the sunshine as hubby was all sore from the biopsy.
TOTAL WIN!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Thursday, 18 August 2011
Results Day
I am the guinea pig generation when it comes to the English National Curriculum. My year was the first with SATs throughout. I was the first year for curriculum 2000 (now known as a/s a-levels). I was also the first year to have the UCAS scoring system change because of the half a-levels.
I was also under a shit load of pressure to succeed. Not from my parents, but my brothers.
My parents I know love me unconditionally because I tested that love once. They have never told me off for not getting amazing grades, but the brothers have.
With an age gap of 13 years we'd had very different opportunities. I'd been told that what I would be doing was college and university as that would open so many doors for me. I should work hard and get into uni, because they hadn't had the opportunity. The starting salary for those extra years study would be higher than those the same age as me already in the job. So I studied.
Of everyone I fear the judgement of my brothers over my parents. Lesser of brother B but holy shit did we fear the wrath of brother A.
Brother B was and still is a lazy git. It's always someone else's fault he didn't do as well as he could. Or it's his health that let him down, (he has asthma and nice said he would and could use this to ensure he always got an interview. He's a dick).
When brother B had a go at me for getting a D in my A level general studies (an exam you just did at my college), I told him to fuck off.
When I got a third (2 marks from a 2:2) and had rung my mum distraught, she came round with my dad and Brother B in tow, I knew he'd have a pop at me. We went to the pub to drown my sorrows. Mum and dad had told me it wasn't the end of the world and they were still proud to have seen me make it to uni and hey you have a degree!
When brother B came to the bar to help me with the drinks, he told me I clearly hadn't applied myself enough. I could of punched him in the balls.
On the other hand brother A worked and had shown us the value of working. His sermons although preachy and really annoying are, on occasion justified. He'd made a similar sacrifice as our mother had for her siblings and unlike his little brother been a grown up and helped the family out.
If it wasn't for him telling me to do better and to get the uni, I'd not gone and have a massive debt looming in the background. But I also wouldn't have my GCSE's after he helped me so much with my course work and revision and ended up at college.
Although I'll never again tell brother B about anything, I will brother A. Even if it means he'll get on his soap box and tell me I'm not doing it right or I should stop upsetting mum. He still helped me out more than he knows, so he stills gets away with it even now I'm a married woman.
So when I make a joke about him being jealous of those happy fresh faced teens in the paper and how he could only get a fake degree. Half my success is his.
If only I could get him to halve my student debt.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
I was also under a shit load of pressure to succeed. Not from my parents, but my brothers.
My parents I know love me unconditionally because I tested that love once. They have never told me off for not getting amazing grades, but the brothers have.
With an age gap of 13 years we'd had very different opportunities. I'd been told that what I would be doing was college and university as that would open so many doors for me. I should work hard and get into uni, because they hadn't had the opportunity. The starting salary for those extra years study would be higher than those the same age as me already in the job. So I studied.
Of everyone I fear the judgement of my brothers over my parents. Lesser of brother B but holy shit did we fear the wrath of brother A.
Brother B was and still is a lazy git. It's always someone else's fault he didn't do as well as he could. Or it's his health that let him down, (he has asthma and nice said he would and could use this to ensure he always got an interview. He's a dick).
When brother B had a go at me for getting a D in my A level general studies (an exam you just did at my college), I told him to fuck off.
When I got a third (2 marks from a 2:2) and had rung my mum distraught, she came round with my dad and Brother B in tow, I knew he'd have a pop at me. We went to the pub to drown my sorrows. Mum and dad had told me it wasn't the end of the world and they were still proud to have seen me make it to uni and hey you have a degree!
When brother B came to the bar to help me with the drinks, he told me I clearly hadn't applied myself enough. I could of punched him in the balls.
On the other hand brother A worked and had shown us the value of working. His sermons although preachy and really annoying are, on occasion justified. He'd made a similar sacrifice as our mother had for her siblings and unlike his little brother been a grown up and helped the family out.
If it wasn't for him telling me to do better and to get the uni, I'd not gone and have a massive debt looming in the background. But I also wouldn't have my GCSE's after he helped me so much with my course work and revision and ended up at college.
Although I'll never again tell brother B about anything, I will brother A. Even if it means he'll get on his soap box and tell me I'm not doing it right or I should stop upsetting mum. He still helped me out more than he knows, so he stills gets away with it even now I'm a married woman.
So when I make a joke about him being jealous of those happy fresh faced teens in the paper and how he could only get a fake degree. Half my success is his.
If only I could get him to halve my student debt.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
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